Psychedelic mushrooms are usually a good time. That is, until you end up naked and bleeding with your penis partially torn off after breaking into a middle school.
A 41-year-old man from Columbus, Ohio, is in the hospital, recovering after police say he ripped off his penis while tripping on shrooms in Ypsilanti Township, Mich.
Washtenaw County Sheriff’s deputies were called to the scene at Ypsilanti Middle School at approximately 1 a.m. last Tuesday, according to a statement from Sgt. Geoff Fox on Monday.
The man was found outside the school building, with his lower half covered in blood and part of his penis detached from his body.
He and the separated body parts were rushed to the hospital.
“He really wasn’t saying much at all — a lot of yelling and screaming,” Fox said. “He wasn’t making sense. They couldn’t really communicate with him in terms of constructive conversation.”
When he finally came to, the man told investigators he had taken hallucinogenic mushrooms earlier in the day while he was in town visiting friends.
The perpetrator (victim?) broke a school window, but didn’t take anything, and is said not to have a history of drug use or mental problems.
“We’ve sent his blood off for further analysis to see if there was anything else, if the mushrooms could have been laced with something,” Fox said, adding that toxicology results are pending.
The man was initially taken to St. Joseph Mercy Hospital in Superior Township, Michigan.
According to WCSO spokesman, Derrick Jackson, the man is now being treated at University of Michigan Health System.
Fox says the man was on the verge of death and may have bled out had they not arrived when they did.
“In terms of vital signs, they were as low as they could go without being dead, I could only assume due to the blood loss and the shock and trauma to the body,” he said.
Say no to drugs, kids… or at least cultivate your own mushrooms, so you know what’s in them!
